So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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