alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
