Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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