i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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