She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
