We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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