So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
