i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
