I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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