Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize