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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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