I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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