If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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