im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
