Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
