the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
