So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
