the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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