Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
