hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
