She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
