she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
