Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
