I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We need to rekindle our bromance
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
