Can i not drive my cunt home
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
