I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
