No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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