I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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