Porn is love you can see.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is wine microwaveable?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
