Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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