people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
