her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love having hate sex.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
