He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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