is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
