But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
