You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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