I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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