is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
