He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
