Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Vodka?
Forever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
