So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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