wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
