I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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