I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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