Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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