I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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