wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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