I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
