You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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