Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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