my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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