Me too!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
