So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
NoShamevember. You game?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
