So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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